Burnout and
Overfunctioning
Therapy for Midlife Women
You're allowed to be tired and need care, not just give it.
You used to do it all. Now it’s hard to keep up.
You’ve always been the person everyone counts on. You hold it all together, remember everything, make sure everyone else is okay, and often at the expense of yourself. You excel at work: you’re reliable, you over-deliver, and are praised for handling it all.
You’re exhausted but don’t know how to put it all down. What used to feel manageable is harder to sustain. You’re losing patience for people you care about and the career you worked so hard for is no longer fulfilling. You haven’t all of a sudden become “lazy.” You over functioned for a long time without realizing it and are now burnt out.
You may recognize some of these experiences:
Over scheduling leaving little to no space for rest or play
You feel anxious or panicked at the idea of not completing a task or project, or saying “no”
Feeling guilty when you rest
No mater how much you sleep or how much time you spend on the couch, you don’t feel rested
You think back to how much you used to do and wonder why you can’t do it anymore
It's gotten hard to do even the basics, and when you do, you feel resentful
What does therapy for overfunctioning and burnout look like?
I use Somatic Experiencing alongside talk therapy because over-functioning isn't just a mindset — it's a nervous system pattern that's been reinforced for years. Burnout, too, isn't just being tired. It's what happens when your nervous system has been running in overdrive for too long.
I want to hear your story and help you identify your limits before you hit them. We'll work with the discomfort that comes up when you try to slow down or receive help — not just push through it. I'll help you notice and practice small moments of letting go, and recognize the signs your body is starting to rest and relax. Going from "on" to slowing down is hard, and we can work through that fear together. Most importantly we’ll tease apart your self worth from productivity and help you find rest that is actually restful.
What healing can look like:
Over time, therapy helps you access what you actually want or need and separate it from what's expected of you. It can look like more confidence to hold boundaries that support your own needs, making space for rest, and for the joy you want to pursue. It can look like a nervous system that can shift gears: instead of being stuck in "go" or on “off” you build the capacity to move between activity and rest, and trust that both are safe.
You may still find yourself doing too much, or feel exhaustion creep in. But you'll catch the overfunctioning sooner. And when you start experiencing your signs of burnout, you'll know how to give yourself the time and space to rest, and to seek the care you need to recover.
Frequently asked questions about burnout and overfunctioning
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Overfunctioning can look like always being the one who remembers, anticipates, and handles it — answering the emails after work hours, saying yes before you've even thought it through, tracking everyone else's schedule, while your own falls apart. It can be hard to ask for help, or to imagine things would get done if you weren't the one doing them. You may be highly capable and successful on the outside, but on the inside you're exhausted, resentful, tightly wound, unable to ever fully relax. Over time, overfunctioning can make it hard to even know what you need, or to notice when you've hit your limit. It's like being stuck on "on."
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Burnout looks different for everyone, but it often shows up as feeling emotionally and physically depleted — and a good sleep or vacation doesn't fix it. You may find it hard to slow down, and when you do rest it's unsatisfying — like your body doesn't know how anymore. Tasks that used to be easy — replying to a text, making dinner — suddenly take more energy than you have. Things that felt enjoyable might start to feel flat, like they're no longer filling your cup the way they used to. You might notice yourself more easily overwhelmed or irritable, or just... done. Burnout may feel hard to recognize if you're used to pushing through. If overfunctioning can feel like being stuck on "on," burnout feels like being stuck on "off."
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This work can help you notice the patterns that keep you stuck in doing, achieving, and pushing through — even when your body's been asking you to slow down. Instead of just talking about being stuck on "on," we work with what that actually feels like in your body — the tight chest, the shallow breath, the restlessness, the guilt when you try to rest. Bit by bit, you build a felt sense of what rest actually is, not just the idea of it. That awareness gives you more room to recognize your limits before you hit them, and to respond to your own needs with the same flexibility and compassion you'd offer someone else.